the Red Queen posed a great QOTD today. i feel compelled to respond, but i needed to do it here, partly to avoid taking up a shit ton of space in her comments, and partly b/c, well it struck me as a great topic that i have been looking for.
she lists some great things along the line of compliments:
So I’ve gotten a good share of compliments in my life. I’m a pretty girl, I don’t think there is a body part that hasn’t been complimented. While I love getting these kinds of compliments, they don’t generally make it into my favorites list.
…
Before [Hot Bulgarian], my favorite compliment was that I am dynamic. I like that. I like the idea of being quick and powerful and a force for change.
i am going to dovetail off of that and share w/ you my favorite compliment, which came from a strange place.
the best compliment i have ever received in my life was meant to hurt me. b/f i considered myself a feminist, even though i was very much so, i went through this phase of “i am not a feminist but…”. i was very progressive in thinking, even though i had up until recently been deceiving myself into believing that i was a republican (another post in the works), and i held a lot of feminist ideals. i knew all about all of the shit that is totally fucked up (wage gap, bastions of glass ceilings, repro justice, to name a few…if you are here you should already know what shit i am referring to), but i liked boys and have trichotilimania like to shave. i constantly find myself among the “ZOMG SHOEZ” crowd, and have been known to load on the eye make up. there was no way i could be a feminist. c’mon!
but when someone i affectionately know as Ass Hat referred to me as a “bitchy feminist”, i didn’t know what to think. at first, it hurt. i know, i know. but seriously i went through a phase where, like a lot of women out there, i thought the “f” word was the biggest insult. bigger than “cunt”, bigger than “bitch”.
until i started paying attention. until i discovered that there are some pretty kick ass women out there, proudly standing up and saying “Hey! THIS is what a feminist looks like!“. the more i read, the more i lurked around some great feminist blogs*, and the more i started paying attention i realized that i was *gasp* a feminist.
seriously.
it was that point in time that i realized that something that was meant to hurt me was probably the greatest compliment i could ever have received. i am sure he would choke on his Wild Cherry Pepsi and Jack Daniels if he knew just how much i appreciate him pointing out that i am, in fact, a bitchy feminist.
after all
oh yeah, i’m BACK!
*for more great feminist blogs, kindly refer to my blogroll. my links in no way should be considered inclusive, these are just a few of the first ones i started reading when going through my metamorphosis.
Ouyang Dan
The Guy
yummy cherries.
You still have to drop bitchy feminist into the comments. I’m holding you to it.
My brother routinely calls me a militant feminist. He of course thinks that he is offending me as well. I just smile and say, “I’ll own that”, each and every time.
I also remember one time he asked me why I was a feminist, and I responded, “because I have the right parts.” As long as you own a vagina it is in your best interests to advocate on its behalf, it can’t do the talking for you, but people will be more than ready to exploit you, rape you, and demean you because you have one.
Hell Yeah I’m a feminist/ womanist and damn proud of it!