More On Why Some Games Aren’t Funny
Part three in an apparently ongoing series.
After my initial reactions and snark aimed at the FFS application, one of my friends made a little jab at me on Facebook…and then responded w/ this letter to me this morning. I enjoy the relationship I have w/ my friend (whom I will call Da Guai Shou) b/c we are able to talk about things like this and lay it out on the table frankly. I was glad that he made a response apart from the snarky “status update”. With Da Guai’s Permission, I have posted his letter here, w/ my response in hopes of perpetuating some discussion. I want to see the thought processes go here.
[Ouyang Dan], after reading your note, I initially felt two things. A) You’re silly because it’s a game, and B) slightly offended at your tone. I was tempted to respond right after I read it, but I thought that I might sleep on it, lest my tongue get the better of me. (So I just jabbed at you a little with my “What I’m Doing” – that’s the way I work). Soooo, in response; Although still slightly offended, I can respect your position on this. I will never send you an invite for this App. And I was NOT going to defend myself for playing this game, but since you are sharing how you think I should treat my friends, I will share this with you – As an avid “gamer”, and reader of gaming news, I have been hearing this kind of talk from people like Jack Thompson for years. He makes the case that video games make children/teenagers more violent. In this case, we are making a distinction between teen violence and human trafficking, but really when you get down to it, which is the worse of two evils?
My point is this; Games, (to me at least) are a way of relaxing, releasing daily stress, zoning out, whatever you may call it. You can really make an arguement against any type of gaming…Axis and Allies the board game, because it glorifies war, and someone HAS to play as the Axis. Super Mario Bros, (seriously, what did those cute little mushroom dudes ever do??) Chutes and Ladders for crying out loud could promote Bullying. If I sit on my couch with my video game controller and virtually pick up a hooker, have sex with her in my car, and then kill her to get the money back, I am an intelligent enough person to realize that this sort of thing goes on in the real world, and there is a distinction. Is that better or worse than if I pay 250,000 fake dollars for one of my friends on Facebook, then make he/she “poke” another friend? Especially if my friend is a willing participant? I really don’t think it’s either one – I just think it’s hilarious.
I also think it is just one more way that social networks let you connect with people. I don’t know about you, but I don’t talk to every single one of my friends, every single day. I think FFS is a great way to let a friend know that you are thinking about them without actually having to say anything – (if you can afford them, of course). It is definitely better than sending Wei a virtual bouquet of flowers (yuck). FFS has actually facilitated in me talking to some people that I probably wouldn’t have talked to otherwise. So I will continue to play this game… I will continue to make my friends slap each other.
Anyway, I know you are a fan of the written word, so if you have something to say after this, say it. If you feel so strongly about this, why don’t you complain to the game developers? or start a group, Friends Against Friends for Sale or some shit?
One last thing – does anyone ever disagree with your postings/blogging? Just curious…
(emphasis mine)
And my response, which I have already been told is nicer than some people would have been. But like I said yesterday, I want to give the benefit of the doubt to people w/ whom I have forged bonds and have a respect for.
[Da Guai], The fact that you would take the time to write a thoughtful response speaks volumes to the friendship that I believe we have. To someone I don’t know as well as I know you I would probably just link to a bunch of posts on the same topic and tell you that your privilege is showing. But I know you, and I know that you are a reasonable and good person, and I think that we are a little bit better than that.
My posts on this topic were not directed at you, but rather the TEN requests I had received for that application and the similar one on Myspace. The biggest problem I had was that w/ the Myspace version you do not become a willing participant. The person who “bought” me has my picture and name along w/ my value in dollars posted on their page w/ a snarky quote about me. I am not a willing participant, and that instance is exactly what I am getting at. It is no place for me to tell you or anyone how to interact w/ your friends, but the topic of human trafficking, modern day forced slavery, forced prostitution, violence against women and children, poverty and the implied racism are not laughing matters. The fact that you were offended by my tone on the matter is a little aggravating, b/c it shows that you are not taking my concern seriously. I feel free in my own space on the intertubes to voice my concern that it isn’t funny when these are real life circumstances for real people. People that even you or I might know. People who don’t have the privilege of turning off the game. But I was not aiming at you. If I was aiming at anyone, it would be the ex boyfriend from HS that sent the request to me announcing that he bought me for $840 dollars, and that just like in the “old days” he now owned me. Nice.
The statement “it’s just a game” is one that is used by people w/ perceived power over a situation to silence people speaking out against it, especially women, women of color, people of color, people of certain sexual identities, the poor, and many other groups who are marginalized. It is used in fashions such as “you need to lighten up” or “don’t be so offended, it’s funny”. It attempts to make our feelings on those issues illegitimate. I don’t believe that you used it w/ that intention, but just so you know, if I am coming across hostile about that, that is why.
As an avid gamer myself I am painfully aware of the way the gaming industry markets mostly to white middle class men and boys. You need only follow the progression of Guitar Hero or log into the new Age of Conan to see this. In GH the avatars have progressively over the course of three games become less friendly to women. The one avatar, “Judy Nails” who was a favorite among women and girl players who were relieved to see a female fully clothed and friendlier to them came out in GH3 wearing so little clothing that I can’t see why they bothered to put a shirt on her at all. In AoC, you can manipulate the breast size of the female toons, and there was a blogstorm about the outrage that if you make a skinny woman’s breasts huge they sagged to her waist. Nice. And let’s look at what happened to one of the leading woman developers of a major and anticipated game, Assassin’s Creed, Jade Raymond. Boy Bloggers, gamers and gamer websites everywhere had a field day w/ her, even went as far as creating a comic about her depicting her giving blowjobs to countless people in order to further her game. She is one of the first women to be such a prominent face in a major game and she was reduced to a sperm guzzling whore, regardless of how amazing her game was (even if the ending really made me want to throw my controller through the TV), and even if it was her job to promote it. But a comic was “all in fun” and she “should lighten up”. Among the most friendly game I have come across is World of Warcraft, where there is no ability difference among the sexes, there are a variety of races (not just white men), a variety of sizes and body types, and even a race that seems to reach out the the queer community (Blood Elf men). But even there the woman characters are clad in chain mail bikinis. The gaming industry is not in any way woman or girl friendly. To say it is just a game is a dismissal of the fact that women in games are devalued.
I am so glad you brought up the prostitutes in GTA, b/c that is a particular nerve b/c violence against sex workers (some 80% of whom in the US are victims of human trafficking) is a real danger. it is not funny if you are a woman, and especially not if you are a woman who is living in poverty and has turned to sex work to feed a family or stay alive. I don’t believe that violence in games makes kids violent. I am no Tipper Gore (though I am a huge fan of Al). I do however strongly believe that by making violence specifically against women in a game, or making light of human trafficking normalizes it in a way that is meant to make us more comfortable. If it is just a game then we don’t have to think about the real victims. The 600,000 to 800,000 men, women and children who are trafficked every year (which is probably a low number, since the illegal status of HT makes it hard to properly document it) don’t have to be real people.
I agree that gaming and social networking are great ways to relax and unwind, but I don’t in any way believe that we need to normalize things that are imitations of the horrors we see around us. I suppose I could make a case that Monopoly teaches greed and that Medal of Honor glorifies war (or a whole post about how if you lined up all the games/movies/shows/comics etc about WWII you would find that the minutes totaled longer than the actual war itself), but there is a difference, and I have to pick my battles.
I am willing to continue having a discussion on this at my Website, where I have a couple of far angrier posts up about the comments that weren’t as nice as yours, one that is being cross posted tomorrow at a big time progressive feminist website. There is a lot of concern about games such as FFS from a variety of people. I am in no way trying to tell you how to treat your friends, that is on you. I appreciate that you will no longer send me those requests, and I really hope that this doesn’t affect our friendship (one of the best things about that is that you always tell me exactly what you think, and give me a chance to respond). But I think it’s fair to say that I have valid reasons to be offended and even outraged by this particular game. I do have to say that your initial response felt like a virtual pat on the head and a “there there little girl, you needn’t worry it’s only pretend”, but I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt and the time to respond as you did.
Do people ever disagree w/ me? You betcha. Not as many as you might think (but I don’t know how you think). Most of them are not as thoughtful about it as you were today. The ones I get like yours I publish in comments, the far nastier ones I don’t. The beauty of owning my own site and domain name is that I don’t have to tolerate such things on my own site if I don’t want to. It is a safe space for feminist and progressive discussion. If you were willing, I would publish your response there (name changed if desired) and you could see what discussion came of it. I leave that up to you. I will link to my series at Shakesville when it is up tomorrow.
I aim to provoke discussion about things like this b/c I think that we would all be better off if we thought about things a little more, and it forces me to stretch how I think and back up what I believe. I make mistakes too, and people call me on it and force me to think about it. I am a fan of the written word, and I am reasonably good at writing. I wouldn’t be published if I wasn’t decent.
Thanks again my friend. And I look forward to more and more discussion w/ you in the future
So, please. Discuss. Please refrain from personal insults, as I would like to encourage Da Guai Shou to participate if he is still lurking here, and don’t want to alienate him from the conversation. I know this is a strange request. It is part of my effort to get people to think in a way they might not have otherwise.
I hotly typed and later deleted a similar comparison to the one Da Guai made. If FFS is indicative of HT then is WoW PvP similar to murder IRL? I mentioned the matter to my good friend Elle at work, and he recalled a discussion from the 80s about recognizing problems as they happen and calling people on them before they get out of hand.
Most humor is based on inequalities and preconceptions, i.e. differences and stereotypes. Some I find dizzyingly hilarious, especially jokes about geeks, gamers, goths, hillbillies, rednecks, whites, college students, mathematicians and scientists. I’ve been all of those things and know which stereotypes are correct, which are false, and why the differences can be amusing. Some humor I find offensive to the point of violence. Jokes about sensitive subjects like rape, child abuse, hate crimes, etc.
I tend to overestimate the intelligence of the ‘average person’, because I’m an elitist. Average people read my rants and will miss the point if I make the rhetoric too thick or the chain of logic less that explicit. And if I get too hot under the collar people read the words but not the message. The more I read Ouyand Dan’s words the less inclided I am to make a snarky retort and the more likely I am to think about why she is writing them.
For me it almost always comes down to an issue of education. In cultures without certain types of disparity specific jokes cannot be translated, because it’s no longer a joke, its a sad story without a punchline. Sexism drives a number of jokes in English in the States that don’t work in Hindi in the Punjab province, because the culture and area lack some of the same stereotypes. Americans are not being taught how to think for themselves, and to be respectful and tolerant of the differences between individuals and peoples. Part of that is failure is the fault of parents, part of schools, and part of society for turning a blind eye to how people are treated vs. how all people should be treated, regardless of differences.
Next week on CraigsRants, sex offenders and the justice department. Stay Tuned to Random Babble.
Craig, I adore you.
the Guy and I had a talk about WoW last night. He said the same thing you did. I made the distinction that, while yes, I am picking my battles, WoW is a world where you are killing things that are not even remotely real. I do not see void walkers and undead rogues in my day to day meandering. My traveling buddies also do not have the option of ressing me from the dead, and I can not use my manna to drain the soul out of buccaneers. In this instance, I really am dealing in a fantasy world, one that is not not mirroring society, as the developers and marketers of GTA are.
I am glad that my lower educated brain (not a snark, a fact) can cause you to see things in a different light, or that my words can change the way you would react. I totally enjoy your presence here.
I will try to find something worthy to write so you may rant then too, though, in my defense, I will have some wee distractions in house for the next week *SQUEEEE*, so you will understand if i don’t deliver. :P
FWIW, Da Guai sent me a comment at Facebook telling me that he was trying to make a point that you did, but that you said it better.