Join our picnic! We could use some fresh meat. So far we’ve got the following:
Author Archive for The Guy
Alright so, here’s the deal. We are all going on a trip. OK really we are being forced on a trip because we are being chased by zombies. An outbreak has occurred and I need to know what we are going to bring. A-Z and you can’t post right after yourself (feel free to post as many times as you want). Continue reading ‘Interactive Zombie Picnic!’
17
Aug
Full of win
In case you didn’t know, Michael Phelps is an inhuman monster.
They say that his swim cap is going to be on the next NASA launch.
Continue reading ‘Full of win’
Alright alright…I set out to educate the masses of n00bs out there, so that when an uprising occurs, I won’t have to rely on just myself…ya know, purely selfish reasons. But I was surfing the You Tube and came across something that made me feel very very very very very….sad. *sad face*
Someone’s done it…and they’ve done it better than I. So, if you’ve got 10 minutes to spare. I present…
The Ultimate Zombie Survival Guide by Crowbarcreations.
If, after watching this, ya’ll still feel like discussing the zombie apocalypse and such, I’ll be around. Let me know.
It’s coming…I promise. I’ve turned the Woman into a Warhammer Widow recently (game’s great btw…WAAAGH!)
PS: Sometimes talking to the Woman is like banging my head on the wall….except..with Wall+Head…eventually I’ll go unconsious.
PPS: A’la Mode = WITH ICE CREAM DAMNIT!
Last week we talked about what a zombie is. Today I wanted to talk about something way more important: How to put one back into the ground. See I’m not so much worried about how they got here as what I need to do to keep them from eating my face. There is nothing worse than being faced with a zombie and having someone try and put a couple of rounds center-of-mass (that’s in the chest). They do that and then you get to watch them get THEIR face eaten. And then that makes two undead face eaters that you’ve gotta deal with. Not exactly the idea situation, eh? So, on to zombie death.
Shotguns are ideal. Failing that, fire is always a good fallback.
-Random Noob when asked what is the best weapon to take out a zombie with.
One of the reasons I hate mornings is that everyone looks like a “zombie”. People all stumbling around and barely coherent, making groggy gurgly noises…eating the flesh offa others. OK so maybe not that last one, but the rest are pretty close, right? That sort of shit makes me nervous. Me and my other zombie ready roomie are seconds away from smashing in a head with Good Ol’ Trusty.
It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle.
-Sun Tzu, “The Art of War” Chapter 3, last sentence.
Got this one from i am jack’s non-blog . Posted because the woman wants me to.
So here it is.
You are in a mall when zombies attack. You have:
1. One weapon
2. One song blasting on the speakers
3. One famous person to fight along side you.
I caused myself much agony thinking this one over. Mostly because there were so many variables that influenced my decision. Seriously, I probably reached my thinking limit about an hour ago. This is some serious stuff here. So lemme break this down piece by piece. Continue reading ‘Zombie Meme (At the Woman’s Request)’
Many of you will probably one day be a zombie. This information is for the rest of us.
Forewarned is Forearmed
People will look at you funny when you walk into a room and look for the exits. You’ll be criticized for getting together with your buddies and discussing what to do in the event of an uprising. Someone will probably try to arrest you for swinging your trust titanium crowbar (of doom) *drools on himself* at random things. They do this because they don’t know… because they can’t understand. They do this because they will one day be one of the hordes.
The first step in surviving the zombie apocalypse is knowing that it is coming. Go beyond knowing, and start living like it’s coming. Read up on how to survive w/o modern technologies, Learn to pick locks, fix cars, ride a bike and the many other things that I’ll introduce you to. Above all, know that they are coming. They are waiting out there. Waiting with that inexhaustible patience that the undead possess. And as Ford Prefect will tell you, “Always know where your towel is.”
Except your towel is a crowbar.
And you use it to kill zombies.
*drool*
Ouyang Dan
The Guy
random babbling from readerland