random babble…

Me (to Some Guy):  May I help you?

Some Guy:  Oh I don’t want to buy nothin’, but you need to call Security.

Me: Why?

SG:  There is some woman outside breastfeeding!

Me:  Well, sir, there is no need for Security she is allowed to do that.

SG:  NO!  She’s not!  She can not do that!  It’s indecent!  Where’s your manager.  (at this point he is yelling)

Me:  I am sorry sir, but it is her right to feed her child.  And, I am the manager.

SG:  She can’t do that out there!  I am calling HPD!

Me:  It is your right to do that, but she is still allowed to be there.  She could even come in here and do it if she wanted.  Have a nice day.

Being that HPD never even showed up, I am guessing either he gave up, they told him that they had better things to do, or by the time he went back outside the kid was finished w/ lunch.

The only reason that breast feeding is indecent is b/c douche bags like this guy make it into some kind of sexual thing instead of the perfectly natural and beautiful thing that it is.  It is not his right to make a sex scene out of a child enjoying lunch outside on a beautiful sunny day.  The problem w/ breast feeding is that of society’s and how we view women and all their parts, not the problem of the woman who is taking good care of her child.  Breasts are not just some sex toy or fun bag for amusement behind closed doors and women are not merely for ogling and objectification.  It’s only sexual b/c he made it that way.

Time for another round.  See the first here. Read more »

in my head is the concept of what it means to be “sex positive”.

I think a few people reading this blog know where I am coming from here.  I have heard some very harsh and sharp criticisms w/in the feminist community lately WRT sex, hetero sex, being sex positive, being a radical feminist, supporting sex work and sex workers’ rights, and a whole slew of other things that are down right frustrating to read and think about.

Othering women is not conducive to what we as feminists or womanists are trying to accomplish.  I think that the issue of being “sex positive” or not is one of those key discussions that is in fact doing more damage than it is doing good.

If the goal of feminism is to maintain a woman’s right to choose for herself what is right for her life w/ the understanding that she is equal to men who already seem allowed to make those decisions, then this othering of women based on their perceived view of feminism and sexuality is counter productive. Read more »

When I was an E-3 in California I began to experience several strange symptoms that had frustrate entire teams of doctors and my Chain of Command (CoC).  I was living in Military Housing (which was costing all of my Basic Allowance for Housing) w/ my at the time three year old daughter.  Being sick was not easy on us.  Finally my General Practitioner (a full bird) made the recommendation that I discontinue the BC I was currently on and use a non hormonal IUD instead.  Her theory was that the hormones in my current BC were aggravating whatever was ailing me (which still wasn’t diagnosed, and actually still isn’t “officially” in my record)  She made me a recommendation to the on base OB/GYN. Read more »

I would like to take a moment of your time to ask you a huge favor.  If, as I read on sites like Alternet, you really have Senator Obama’s ear, I would like to ask your help in getting him on board w/ all women’s issues.

If Senator Obama is hoping to stand in solidarity and unison w/ you, and if he is looking for your support to help sway your voters to become his voters, then I beg you, help him see what he needs to do to earn their votes. Read more »

This one is for Tobes.  Actually, it’s for all of us.

I am one of those totally dorky people who becomes so invested in a TV show character that she has spent years watching grow that she will cry at certain moments in that show.  This scene in the final episode of BtVS made me blub.  Completely and totally w/ snot pouring down my face blub.

To me it says a lot more than a bunch of girls getting supernatural powers.  It is a message that speaks beyond the pop culture and right to the heart of all women everywhere.

To you who think that Whedon isn’t a feminist, you have missed the fucking mark.  You have not been paying attention.  It’s called seeing past the pop culture and using your brain and seeing what the fuck he is trying to accomplish.  Joss Whedon gave us the first true female heroine on television in pop culture.  I know we had Wonder Woman, the bionic woman and such…but Buffy was the first girl who was like us.  Whedon gave us this girl, this person who looked like us and gave her the ability to not only not lay down and cry waiting to be rescued but to kick a little ass and do the rescuing herself.  Regardless of what SMG might say off camera, Buffy is a feminist icon.  She was just a girl, and a force to be reckoned w/.

Ever since his work on Roseanne, Whedon has been creating women who stepped outside of what was expected and perceived.  They were mouthy, they were sometimes crass and obnoxious.  They were sexual beings in charge of their own lives (once they figured out how to get there).  They were beautifully flawed and yet perfectly admirable.  

So, w/o further ado, I give you my favorite blubworthy Buffy moment.

Here’s to the Slayer in all of us.

(Cross Posted)

Joss Whedon is NOT a male white supremacist.  

If you think so you do not know what the poop you are talking about.  Try seeing past your misandry and using common sense b/f you spew bile all over the interwebs.

And certainly, b/f you think to try…do not bring it here.  Slander will not be tolerated.  Just ask the guy who tried to talk about the Dalai Lama here.

Because, like I have said before, now more than once, we are dealing not only w/ words and their meanings, which are big and heavy all on their own merits, but b/c we are dealing w/ actual people.  Real fucking human beings.

I am sick and fanfuckingtastically tired of the “it’s just a game”, “lighten up”, or “it’s all in fun” being arguments for why the shit like I talked about yesterday is acceptable as a form of entertainment.  I am more than tempted to just say “hey, asshat, your privilege is showing” to people who think that as long as it’s just a game and they personally are not causing anyone harm (a fact which i believe is still up for debate), but this time it is coming from people whom I respect, and some of them I love, and w/ some of them I have forged bonds.  

And that makes it harder to just point at brilliant posts by incredible writers better than me and tell them to educate themselves.  It also makes me realize that the people I know IRL may not have all of the background and enlightenment that I have found via my online community of friends (as I experienced w/ a friend of mine on Myspace yesterday.  For some reason it still surprises me when people are unwittingly blind to sexism and misogyny).  I will give these people one free pass, and I will point to the wealth of knowledge on Al Gore’s internet *throws poppy petals*. Read more »

it is no surprise that Myspace and Facebook are not overly progressive or that they frequently have questionable or even outright offensive things on them.  i do a pretty good job of avoiding most of it, but some is the advertisements (in my south Canadian accent that is “ad VERT is ment”) are unavoidable, like the wretched bridal ads that i mentioned yesterday, or the disgusting “Sexy Politics“, as mentioned at Feminsting recently.

but my biggest annoyance isn’t the advertisements.  it happens to be a new application that has taken social websites by storm.  it is the “Friends for Sale” or other similar and similarly named applications.  the premise is exactly what it sounds like, you auction your friends off, buy them from each other, and claim them as your “pets”.  the application also sends out messages to your friends telling them just how much you “paid” for them, and invites you to “see how much you are worth.

from Myspace:

and from Facebook:

See?  how much fun is that?  let’s pretend that our friends are objects that we can buy and sell for our amusement!  there is absolutely no problem w/ treating people like property and stripping them of their own autonomy.  is there?  if you think there is something wrong w/ that, then you must just not have a fucking sense of humor!  b/c buying and selling your friends is the bees knees!

get it?  GET IT?

i don’t have tolerance for treating people as objects for fun and amusement.  it is not funny to buy and sell people.  i routinely ignore them, but i am pretty much thinking that i need to be more vocal about my disapproval of such things.  i am starting w/ this blog post.

not funny, Myspace and Facebook.  not in the least.

but i guess i am just another humorless bitch, aren’t i?

 the Red Queen posed a great QOTD today. i feel compelled to respond, but i needed to do it here, partly to avoid taking up a shit ton of space in her comments, and partly b/c, well it struck me as a great topic that i have been looking for.

she lists some great things along the line of compliments:

So I’ve gotten a good share of compliments in my life. I’m a pretty girl, I don’t think there is a body part that hasn’t been complimented. While I love getting these kinds of compliments, they don’t generally make it into my favorites list.

…

Before [Hot Bulgarian], my favorite compliment was that I am dynamic. I like that. I like the idea of being quick and powerful and a force for change.

i am going to dovetail off of that and share w/ you my favorite compliment, which came from a strange place. Read more »